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Alright, so here’s the thing, body confidence is one of those things that sounds amazing in theory… and in reality? It feels like something you should’ve magically figured out by now, but still kind of don’t. Like, is there a secret class everyone else took and forgot to tell you about? It’s not even just intimacy, but it’s boudoir photography (if you’ve ever wanted to do that), it’s feeling confident wearing something sexy, it’s enjoying this other side of you! In general, body confidence is just so hard to achieve it seems.
It’s amazing how there’s people out there who have this confidence and they’re not ashamed of it. Sabrina Carpenter is probably one of the best examples out there, too. But anyways, the truth is, most people are out here overthinking, second-guessing, and trying to look chill while having a full-on mental spiral the second things get vulnerable.
So what’s actually getting in the way? Probably more than one thing, and none of them is your fault.
That Inner Critic is Way too Chatty
Alright, so picture this: you’re in the moment, things are heating up. And then that little voice in your head chimes in with, “Is this a weird angle?” or “Wait, did I shave today?” or “What if they’re bored?” Just… rude, right? Well, that voice is exhausting, and it’s usually lying. But it’s loud, especially if you’ve been conditioned to pick yourself apart since middle school. So instead of trying to shut it down completely, just notice it.
Then remind yourself: no one’s zooming in on your stretch marks right now. And if they are? That’s a red flag, not a you problem.
Your Body Image is Driving the Mood
In all honesty, it’s hard to feel sexy when you’re low-key trying to hide half your body under a blanket or thinking about how your stomach folds when you move a certain way, and yeah, someone can say “you’re beautiful” all day long, but if you don’t feel it, it doesn’t always land.
Sometimes, feeling better starts with shifting how you see your body. Other times, it’s about making a change that helps you feel more like yourself. For some, that means things like body contouring, which isn’t about becoming someone else; it’s about feeling more confident in your own skin. Honestly, it just can’t be stressed enough to just do what you know for a fact will make you look and feel better.
Past Experiences Don’t Just Disappear
Maybe it’s one bad comment. One awkward moment. One partner who made you feel small. Maybe it’s beyond these. But anyway, those things have a way of sticking around, even years later. You might not think they matter until suddenly you’re mid-intimacy and your brain’s like, “Hey, remember that time someone made a joke about your thighs?”
But you seriously need to just remember that you’re not broken. You’re just human. And healing that stuff takes time. But the first step is admitting it’s there, so you can stop letting it steer the ship.
The Pressure to Perform is Killing the Vibe
Somehow, sex got turned into this weird checklist of things you’re supposed to be amazing at. There’s pressure to be confident, sexy, enthusiastic, relaxed, spontaneous, and probably psychic. But really, that’s all just so exhausting. You don’t have to perform. You don’t need to be “good at it.”
You just need to feel comfortable, safe, and connected. The rest can be figured out along the way. You’re not a TV character, you’re an actual person.
