Teens have a lot to juggle, right? Depending on their age and grade, they might have to focus on college applications. But of course, that’s basically the tip of the iceberg because teens (especially girls) also have other things to focus on, like anxiety and just trying to have more confidence in general. Basically, teen confidence is kind of like a moody cat. Sometimes it shows up, struts around like it owns the place, then disappears for days without warning.
Pretty much, one morning your teen is feeling like themselves, the next they’re hiding under a hoodie saying “I look gross” for reasons you’re not allowed to ask about. It’s rough out there. Honestly, for teens it’s always been rough (and as a parent you know this), but nowadays, yeah, it’s more rough. There’s social media, school hallways, body changes, self-comparison, it’s a full-time job just keeping their self-esteem from completely tanking.
But honestly, the trick isn’t to hype them up like a motivational speaker. It’s about finding low-key, non-cringe ways to help them feel more comfortable in their own skin. And sometimes, that starts with beauty.
Don’t Treat Beauty like it’s Shallow or Silly
Well, for starters, if they want to spend 45 minutes perfecting their eyeliner, that’s not “wasting time,” that’s them trying to feel okay in a world that’s constantly judging. But really, just wanting to look good doesn’t mean they’re obsessed with appearances. It usually means they’re trying to survive middle school or high school without feeling like a walking disaster.
And the last thing they need is an adult rolling their eyes when they ask for a new skincare product or decide to suddenly switch up their hair. Treating those things like they matter (because they do) helps them feel seen, not judged. But yeah, beauty can be powerful, especially when it’s tied to confidence, not perfection.
Subtle Support is the Secret
Needless to say, teens don’t always say what they’re thinking. If they’re stressing about their skin, their hair, or their smile, they probably haven’t brought it up, but they’ve definitely noticed. In fact, they’ve probably noticed it in every mirror, selfie, and class photo. If you can, it’s really helpful to try and give casual support here and there (maybe not try and solve all their problems, but just try and help).
So, you don’t need to suggest anything out loud like it’s some kind of intervention. Just let them know options are out there, for example, if they’re worried about getting their teeth straight (or if they have gaps), then you could suggest clear aligners, for example. But of course, they’re against any idea you offer, then you just need to walk away. Just don’t pressure them, don’t try and plant seeds, don’t even lecture. Let them have control, let them have choices.
Say Things that Actually Stick
Well, here’s something to keep in mind. That whole “You look fine” doesn’t do much for anyone. Honestly, it’s vague. It’s flat. It’s the equivalent of a thumbs-up emoji in real life. If you really want to boost their confidence, go deeper than “fine.” Just tell them their outfit looks cool. Compliment the playlist they made. Just a little specific compliment is key here.
