I was taking our youngest daughter to her doctor appointment about an hour and a half away. I happened to tune in to a Christian talk radio show during the drive. The topic of the day was depression. Not only depression but specifically how we as Christians deal with it. It was so awesome for me to listen to! I wish I could remember the program name and link it. If I happen to remember, I’ll update the post.
Some believe that any illness including depression is brought on by sin. You have sinned and therefore you are now depressed because of that sin. When it comes to depression, I can understand that thought process… to a point.
Here’s an example: Let’s say that you’ve done something wrong. You’ve sinned. This sin weighs on you and you become depressed about it. You’re upset. You can pray and repent and come out of that depression.
But that’s not the depression that my husband (any many many others) have. The depression described above is NOT clinical depression or what might be referred to as major depression.
Here’s how Mayo Clinic defines depression:
Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depression, major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and depression may make you feel as if life isn’t worth living.
More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn’t a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply “snap out” of.
How Do Christians Deal with Depression?
I’m not saying all Christians but Tim and I have seen first hand how some Christians treat those with depression or illness. You get judged, you must be sinning, what did you do wrong that God is punishing you? If you can’t turn to your Christian family to support you in this time, then what do you do?
We left a church that had this attitude and to be honest, we’re still reeling from it 10 years later. Tim’s depression was not brought on by sin. His family has a history of depression. It’s there, it’s real. You can’t fix them. Yes, you can pray for God to work in their lives and you can pray for God to give you the understanding and compassion for a loved one with depression.
I am definitely NOT saying to not pray. Yes, pray. Pray often and pray the scripture.
Deuteronomy 31:8 “… It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
During this talk show, they gave an example that made so much sense. Let’s say you have one friend with cancer and one friend with depression. The friend with cancer, you comfort, you support, you lift up. The friend with depression, you try to fix, you tell them to ‘buck up’, you want them to just get over it. No, I am not comparing cancer to depression but I think it’s a great example of how we want to support one but fix the other when we should be supporting both.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Depression is not going away. It’s time we started giving support to those with depression. Talk about it, let them know that they are loved and that they are not alone! Lift them up in prayer for healing.
Be there for them, hold their hand, comfort and love them. Do not give up, do not let them push you away, do not accept, “I’m fine.”
Read also… How do you help a loved one with depression.
ellen says
You spoke so well, ours is the opposite, I the wife am the one with the depression..and my husband has learned how to live with it. He also is up most of the time, so why was I so sad..after 37 years, he has learned…it has nothing to do with him, when I fall into the well, he just loves me, and is here, and that is all I ask. He could have and maybe should have left me, but we had 4 kids too..all grown now. Living with a person with major depression, is the “good and the bad, the sickness and in health” part of a mature marriage. If u are not ready for the ride and committed, there is not one chance of the marriage making it because “we” can be tough to live with during the dark times…I KNOW we can make it through anything, because we have…it will never go away, and after all these years, i know when it is getting bad..so we just ride out the storm, then go on..thank you for what u wrote, it told it in a kind manner, for a disease that is not kind at all.
Dawn says
Ellen, thank you so much for your comments! I love what you’ve said. Love that your husband is there for you supporting you. Bless you both!
Tracy says
Ive dealt with major depression most of my life and been hospitalized twice because of it.It is a dark, horrible place to be.Ive been 2 years now without a downfall.What has helped me most besides my family is Psalm 27:1 The lord is my light and my salvation.I highly suggest reading it to anyone who struggles with depression and hope it helps people like it has helped me.
Dawn says
Thank you, Tracy, for sharing your journey. I love that passage!
Joelle Brinkley says
I stumbled upon your website today and I want to say THANK YOU for your words. I’ve lived with depression for over half my life and everybody wants to tell you to basically just “get over it” or even “pray and read your Bible more”. I know that even if I’m not spending set time with God everyday that He hears me and that I continue to pray. However, sometimes you can’t just “get over it”. Though my mom has never been formally diagnosed with depression, I know that it runs in my family. I know that I can be “healed” from this but if I’m not it’s like people are looking at me as if I’m not even a real Christian. At 32, I today took the steps to ask to be admitted to a ‘secular’ world intensive outpatient behavior health program and I’m talking to my husband about asking my job to work 30 hours a week instead of 40 so that I can create breathing space in my days. We have to take life one day at a time and I know that God isn’t done with me yet. I may live with this depression forever, but it’s not because I have sinned or because I’m not being ‘faithful’ enough. God is using this for good and I have to continue to be honest about my shortcomings so that I can live a life that is full, even if that includes medication.
Dawn says
So very true, Joelle! Thank you for sharing your story and I’m glad that this post helped you. I’m praying for you in your journey!